In 1995 ‘Create your Life Productions‘ published a VHS video recording of a workshop Marshall Rosenberg held in Denmark, entitled ‘Words Are Windows Or They’re Walls’. I do not have the original VHS record of this, so unfortunately the only available copy I was able to see is the one offered on YouTube. A couple of passages are inaudible, due to a bad audio track or transfer from VHS cassette.
Please let me know if you have the original cassette, so we can provide a better resource of this inspiring workshop.
The original date of the workshop might be earlier than 1995. If you know more about this, I would be happy to add this information to this page. Thank you!
Time Code to Contents
- 0:00:00 Intro
- 0:00:27 Song – Words Are Windows Or They’re Walls
- 0:00:52 Languages of Giraffe and Jackal
- 0:01:43 Examples of Jackal Language
- 0:03:59 Marshall’s Reason For Learning Giraffe
- 0:04:35 Song ‘Given To’ Illustrates Values of Giraffe Language
- 0:05:06 Song ‘Given To’
- 0:06:41 Marshall was interested in people, who manage to live in a quality of relationship with others, where giving and receiving cannot be told apart any more, such as described in the song.
Motivation not through fear, guilt or shame, motivation only from the joy of enriching the life of people. Marshall noticed these people spoke a different language. He studied and learned this language, he calls it process of nonviolent communication. - 0:07:55 Reasons for calling this language Giraffe
- 0:08:27 Giraffes have a big heart – they speak from the heart
- 0:09:38 Giraffes are tall – they can better see the future
- 0:10:25 Street Jackal
- 0:10:44 Professional Jackal
- 0:11:37 Song ‘Shrink’s Blues’
- 0:13:01 How to deal with people who still talk Jackal? – Use Giraffe Ears.
- 0:13:42 Example ‘Murderer!” – Bringing Giraffe ears to this statement.
- 0:14:33 Giraffe ears: hear the human being behind the message
- 0:16:20 Jackal ears inwards – sth wrong with ourself – guilt, shame, depression
- 0:17:42 Jackal ears outwards – sth wrong with others – anger
- 0:18:07 We all have plenty of skill and practice with Jackal ears
- 0:18:27 Tonight teaching you Giraffe – First subject: education
- 0:18:39 How to educate somebody, whose behavior is not enriching our life in some way?
- 0:20:48 Write down what you might say to this Jackal, to change his behaviour willingly.
- 0:21:03 Pretent that you speak to this Jackal (puppet) – Giraffe will coach you where needed
- 0:21:30 First participant – Educating a colleague at work
- 0:22:04 I do not feel too well, when you approach me.
- 0:23:03 Making an analysis, we in fact want to express three things … ( = OFN)
- 0:23:29 Observation
- 0:25:56 Feeling
- 0:26:11 Need
- 0:27:17 Request
- 0:28:25 Example – Unclear request in a couples relationship vs positive action language
- 0:30:39 Having expressed in giraffe, prepare to approach a jackal response with empathy
- 0:31:48 Listen to feeling behind jackal message
- 0:32:58 Don’t go to thinking – don’t imagine what jackal might think – ugly up there
- 0:33:24 Tune into the heart – What is the feeling?
- 0:33:46 Peudo-feeling / Feeling Words vs. Thinking Words
- 0:35:15 More feeling guesses
- 0:36:49 Guessing the need
- 0:37:40 Putting feeling and need together into an empathic question
- 0:37:56 Harsh jackal response
- 0:38:42 The more attack, the more pain, the more gift …
- 0:39:05 Strongest human need – contact – to know that our needs matter
- 0:39:33 Marshall shows a possible dialogue between giraffe and jackal
- 0:40:08 Suspicion of jackal, when empathy is given – understanding that too
- 0:41:45 Closing the loop with the participant, who brought the case of her colleague
- 0:42:04 Do people speak Giraffe back, when you talk to them in Giraffe?
- 0:42:15 People are changed instantely, if you wear Giraffe ears.
- 0:42:31 In general they do, because it is natural, unless people hear demands
- 0:43:09 Teaching jackal husbands to hear requests
- 0:44:46 Giraffe is natural, but not habitual way of communication
- 0:46:19 Swedish father: A Jackal’s Jackal