My first interview with Marshall took place in the summer of 1985 at the home of one of his friends in Chicago. He was in town to give a series of workshops on non-violent communication, which is referred to in these pages as “the skills,” or “the process.” I had attended one of his workshops probably ten years before and had come away from it exhilarated and impressed by the man and his ideas. I was somewhat intimidated by Marshall, or perhaps by his reputation. I confess that I also was skeptical of the ease with which Marshall seemed to attract women and to get them working for the loosely-knit, informal network of people all over the country who were working with the non-violent communication model.
Marshall is not a classically handsome man. Of medium height and thin, wiry built, he has black hair, and dark brown eyes which look out from under craggy brows. He has a fierce face—even when he smiles and laughs. The overall impression I received was one of intellectual and emotional intensity. He possesses a charismatic presence.
This impression was confirmed, repeatedly in the hours we spent taping his life story. Marshall was open, and emotionally expressive. At a number of points in his story, he was moved to tears. I was moved by his openness with me, and felt honored to have had the opportunity to hear his story. Having gotten to know him better, I think that his appeal is not something used to manipulate others. Marshall’s work and Marshall the man have attracted many different types of people, not only women. His thinking and practice have developed over many years and through his involvement in radically different communities—mainstream of academic psychology, “the streets” of St. Louis, Oakland, Washington, D.C., “spirit people” in California and elsewhere, radical Catholics and other movement groups. According to his own account, Marshall tries and often succeeds in embodying the ideas and principles he teaches.
During the two years in which I was interviewing the four participants in this study, Marshall and I met on six occasions, and we spent approximately twenty hours in the generation of his life story. All of this material was interesting and important, but much of it has been omitted because of space limitations.
Next – first chapter by Marshall Rosenberg: Suffering in this World