This recording (MLW-1.8) is part of a series I created for learning and teaching purposes.
Please see here for the homepage of the uncut recording.
Transcript
WHY 40 WORDS IN GIRAFFE?
Yes?
You said it would be good to use no more than 40 words.
Are you recommending that?
Yes. Generally. Unless you just want to talk about
boring subjects and you don’t want any connection.
I’m saying that when we want a connection with people
about emotional issues, express what’s in your heart,
your feelings, your needs in about 30 words and then
take the rest of the 40 to make a present request.
Human beings in an emotional situation …
it’s asking a big gift to them to give you
their full attention for the 40 words.
More than that, your chance of getting
the attention you want is (slim).
WHY SO MANY WORDS?
One of the reasons we use more than 40 words
is we’re so scared about making ourselves vulnerable.
Most of the unnecessary words that we express
are to justify our feelings or to justify our needs.
We think we have to justify, sell the other
person on the importance of something.
Not realizing that those words decrease the likelihood
we’re going to get the connection we want.
Feelings and needs and then quickly (the request).
That should be 30 words: to say what they did, our present
feelings and relationship to our needs, and then – present request.
STANDARD REQUEST: “I’D LIKE YOU TO TELL ME …”
And when it’s one person that we’re speaking with,
keep in mind it’s always the same request:
“I’d like you to tell me …”
Now what we want them to tell us,
that can go in different directions.
But we usually forget that,
because this requires our living in the moment,
our being alive right now,
being conscious of what do we want.
And that’s a consciousness that not many of us have developed.